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	My fiancé's mother is a very critical woman on everything pertaining to our wedding. She tries to make things difficult. What could I say to a woman who has not of yet offered to help with anything, as far as offering the rehearsal dinner, or even just moral support. Everything is falling on my shoulders as well as my mom and grandparents mentally and financially. She has not offered to do anything at all!! She feels that weddings are a waste of money and would rather see her son have a court wedding instead of a nice one. Being as it's both of our first times being married, I want both of us to have something really nice and so does my family. What should I do?	Submit your answer to this question

	My daughter had a civil ceremony outdoors at Moody Gardens in Galveston. We had a rehearsal the evening before, but the judge was not present at the rehearsal because he was a district judge with a very busy schedule. My daughter and son-in-law had selected the ceremony that they wanted to use and communicated with the judge about the vows they wanted. You can write your own vows, but be sure you discuss them and give a copy of them to the officiant in advance. It is also helpful if he/she has a program ahead of time to know the order of the ceremony. As far as setting up that program or order for the ceremony, if you and your groom want to plan that, do a lot of research in advance by talking with others or looking to see what suggestions are available in printed/on-line sources. Then I recommend that you have someone else other than you two to be the 'coordinator' for the rehearsal and to be available to help with that before and during the wedding ceremony. I recommend that you have someone else do this because you two have enough to think about and do without having to 'direct traffic' too. This 'coordinator' does not have to be a professional if you don't want to go to that expense. You are bound to have a friend who has been in several weddings herself/himself and who is just 'assertive' (or kind of bossy) enough to tell people where to go, stand, etc. according to YOUR WISHES that you have communicated to her/him in advance. This really worked very well for us, and it took a lot of the pressure off of me too as the mother of the bride! Good luck.	Anonymous Houston, TX

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